So Bad, It's Good

Let's talk about movies. Bad movies, to be more specific. So Bad, They're Good.

Now, I know that not everybody is entertained by a movie's extraordinary failure. Movies used as examples here are strictly of my opinion. So without further ado, let's start with what kind of movies can't be So Bad, They're Good:

Comedies: When something is so bad, it's good, it always becomes funny. The reason terrible movies can be entertaining is because we find humor in their shortcomings. But the whole point of a comedy is to make you laugh. If it can't do that, all you're left with is a flimsy romance plot or a shallow drama.

Morally Bankrupt Films: Sometimes a topic can just be too heavy to laugh about. This is the kind of stuff that makes you feel ashamed of the human race. Movies laced with prejudice, hatred, or ignorance are hard to watch even when they're bad. And then you the special class of horror film that is impossible to laugh at because its extreme violence and cruelty pushes the limits of decency. Examples include "Grotesque" or "The Human Centipede".

Laugh. I dare you.

"Average" films: Your generic romantic comedies, underdog stories, vengeful ghost tales, and so on. These are the formulaic films that are reasonable well-made, but do not offer anything new or substantial. Their failure is the inability to be memorable.

So what makes a movie So Bad, It's Good? 

Ill-conceived plot: This is often the most important part. For a classic example, we need look no further than Plan 9 From Outer Space - an advanced alien race tries to get the attention of all the people of Earth by creating exactly 3 zombies and having them run around a cemetery, sometimes bothering gravediggers and policemen. You'd think that a species with interstellar travel would go about it all more effectively.

A modern example, Snakes On A Plane is a story about... well, exactly that. This is a peculiar example, though, because the premise of the movie was based on its own So Bad It's Good-ness after it became popular on the internet.

Technical ineptitude: You can see a zipper. The hero's birthmark keeps switching to the other side of his face. A harness is clearly visible during slow motion scene. What makes it all so funny to us is that we can tell not just that something is wrong, but exactly how it's wrong. It reminds us how silly the movie-making process can be. There is a divine satisfaction in the moment when you notice a truck in the background of a fantasy epic.

Blatant commercial interest: Double Team, starring Jean Claude Van Damme and Dennis Rodman, was obviously intended to cash in on Rodman's fame as a star athlete. It even puts in the extra effort to mention his basketball career by having him throw a skull at an explosive trigger and then calling it a "five pointer". What truly sets this movie apart is its thrilling use of product placement:

Did I mention during one point of the climax, Van Damme karate kicks a tiger? Seriously, go see the movie.

Outlandish script: Legion is a personal favorite. Most would say that it's actually just a terrible movie, but it holds a special place in my heart. What really sold me was Tyrese Gibson's heartfelt monologue:

"When I was a shorty, the only time my old man ever gave me attention was when I did something bad. So I got really good at being bad. Problem is, when you get older, being bad is not so good." 

I remember hearing this line in the theatre and clapping my hands in applause as I shook my head in disbelief. 

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation is also a treasure trove of bad lines and ridiculous plot points. Here is a line that just captures the heart of the script:

And this one gives us an in-depth look at the tortured soul of Scorpion's (the yellow ninja) character.

Bad acting: Bad acting is a peculiar thing. We can easily tell the difference between a good and bad performance without knowing anything about films or movie-making. It's difficult to quantify or put into words what makes a performance so bad, but there is always just something off, weird, and hilarious about it.

The Room is a prototypical So Bad, It's Good movie. It fulfils every single criteria in such spectacular fashion that I'm surprised I haven't used it in any example until now. Just listen to the delivery of Tommy's lines compared to the seriousness of their content.

This next is just superbly inept. The pacing. The dialogue. The way Tommy just steps over the shopkeeper's line. Fantastic.

What makes bad acting so special is that even good actors can give bad performances. It is a rare treat to see a great actor in a giftedly terrible movie. Such is the case with Raul Julia in Street Fighter. Despite being in bad movie, he chews up the scenery with his hot-blooded portrayal of the absurdly over the top villain M. Bison.

Here we see how being evil has become routine for the Mighty Bison.

I wish I could find a better quality video for this next scene. Raul Julia devastates the scene to a billion pieces with his Large Ham performance - filled with dramatic pauses, explicit punctuation, and dramatic emphasis on everything.

What am I saying? His performance was marvelous. RIP Raul Julia.

Irony

Depending on who you ask, there are about four kinds of irony:

Verbal irony is when someone says one thing but means another. For example, describing something being "as pleasant as surgery." You say something in a manner that has a literal connotation, but express something different in the context of the situation. This is the mechanism that makes sarcasm work. Sarcasm and irony frequently overlap, but the distinction is that sarcasm is meant to mock things. Not all verbal irony is sarcastic and not all sarcasm is ironic. Unlike the other types of irony, this kind is intentional.

Dramatic irony is the disparity of awareness between a character and the audience. Shakespeare used this device all the time: Romeo kills himself because he thinks Juliet is dead, but we know she only took  a sleeping potion. In Othello, the audience knows that Iago is lying long before the characters do.

Situational irony is when the result of an action is contrary to a desire of expected effect. It's like climbing up a tree to escape a wolf and then getting struck by lightning, or going to bed early for an important meeting and then oversleeping.

Cosmic irony... technically isn't irony at all. It's the sharp contrast between human intention and harsh realities of the world. This is essentially when the universe seems to be screwing with you. Imagine that you're buying an anniversary gift for your boyfriend. You sold your hair to buy him a gold necklace, only to find out that he's allergic to gold and that he bought you a comb. Whoops.


Since it's often misused, let's point out that irony is not:
-a lie
-a joke
-a coincidence
-merely anything unexpected

No.

These are coincidences:

-A chef being eaten by cannibals
-A dog lover mauled to death by pit bulls
-Being mugged right after you withdraw cash from the ATM

These are ironic situations:

-Accidentally pushing your friend off a bridge while shoving him out of a way of a moving car
-Being killed by a safety feature
-Choking on the pill of immortality

Irony is great for stories because it creates conflict and helps move a plot forward. Unexpected outcomes and complications keep us interested, even if we don't always like them. Think of all the times you've sat through a bad story simply because you wanted to see how it all played out. People aren't deeply moved by things that are common or mundane. That's why we find things that are predictable to be boring, and the reason why jokes aren't as funny when you already know the punchline. 

But assumptions can only be proven wrong so many times. A story must eventually deliver on some expectations of the audience. A hero eventually triumphs and a villain faces justice. The honest are rewarded and the greedy are left with nothing. This is because stories are used to paint the image of our ideal worlds. We expect people to get what they deserve. That's why cosmic irony gets a strong reaction from us - especially endings. It's hard to see a good person suffer or watch a villain get away. Though these outcomes are plausible and realistic... they just aren't satisfying. It's difficult to be reminded that, unlike in stories, life truly is unfair. That's why we refer to fate being cruel.

Dramatic irony is great at creating tension. You see it all the time with Horror. Watching a character walk through a haunted house is scary because you expect something to jump out... but watching them explore the room where you know the ghost is waiting? Ho. Ly. Shit. Any time you've yelled at the screen in frustration or groaned at the actions of a character is likely the result of this dramatic irony. Think of all the times a character walks right past a vital clue or gets into an obviously dangerous situation. These scenes are frustrating because you know that the choices being made are bad, even though the characters don't. 

Dramatic irony also creates some of the saddest and most memorable moments. In the Futurama episode, "Jurassic Bark", Fry decides not to resurrect his dog, Seymour, after finding out that it had lived another 12 years after he disappeared. He assumes that Seymour lived a full life and had forgotten him, and that it would be best to let him rest in peace. In the final flashback, it is revealed that Seymour sat for years and years, waiting for his master's return while the world around him slowly changed. He grows older and older until he finally lies down and closes his eyes for the last time. The feeling of, "...Fry was so close. If only he knew..." is the reason why scenes like this one are so heartbreaking.

Sigh, the feels.

Character Motivation: Resentment

Let's about character motivation.

People and Characters Rarely Do Things Without Reason

When it comes to motivation, resentment is one of the strongest driving forces. Resentment makes for interesting characters and drama. That's why you see resentful characters all the time in stories. A little reflection is all you need to see that resentment is ubiquitous, no matter how large or small.

Take, for example, someone making you angry. You might forgive this person eventually, but until you deal with the issue, you'll probably harbor bitterness toward them. This bitterness can follow you for years, and you will never be completely open with this person until they do something to take away your resentment, such as apologize to you. Let me give a fictional and personal example.

The murder of Bruce Wayne's parents drove him to become Batman. And boy does he hate criminals. He will do anything in his power to rid the world of selfish thieves and manic crooks. Well, almost anything.

Batman knows that the world would be better off without the Joker. With all his power, he could simply snap the Joker's neck and put an end to his madness. But he never does it. Instead he puts the Joker in prison, knowing that he will eventually escape. Batman chooses not to murder, even if it leads to a worse outcome. Despite being outside the law, Batman never resorts to the methods of a criminal because only a low life criminal commits murder. Batman must have something to distinguish himself - something to justify his actions. Otherwise he would see himself as no better than the man who killed his parents.

Batman also hates guns. Hates. Them. Because a gun is a coward's weapon. A liar's weapon. The weapon of his parents' murderer.

In middle school, a friend of mine had a crush on a popular girl. She didn't like him back, but that didn't stop him from pursuing her.

One day during lunch, the girl and a couple of her friends came over to where we sat and told my friend to stop bothering her. Instead of telling him nicely and privately, they stand over him and talk loud enough for everyone to hear. They tell him to stop wasting his time. To give up. That she has never liked him and never will. I will never forget the look on my friend's face as he hung his head in silence while these girls dug their heels into his self esteem.

Looking back, I can see that we were only kids. That these girl have surely changed. That they probably remember and regret how cruel they were to my friend that day. And yet, I still can't bring myself to forgive them. I can't help but feel anger boiling in my stomach whenever I hear one of their names. I dislike anything they enjoy and refuse to become friends with anyone that might remind me of them. One of them is a talented artist? I've seen better. One of them speaks French? That's so pretentious. It's been over 10 years since that day and I still bear an irrational animosity. 

We resist what we resent. Compared to motivations like revenge or fame that guide you toward something, resentment guides you away.

Think, for a moment, of things that you refuse to do. They can be major things like murder and rape, or small things like eating meat, doing drugs, and buying a Macbook Pro. When we finally do give into something we've been trying to deny, we can't help but feel guilty. Often it's not the action that disgusts us, but the idea that we are able to become the very thing we hate. If you're teamed up with a person who has wronged you in the past, you will resist and dismiss any of their ideas, no matter how good, simply because of who they are. This is the power of resentment. 

In keeping my posts about characters and stories, I'll leave off with an example of a great character driven by resentment.

Magneto
"I am no hero. Merely a man who has seen and done and endured what can never be forgotten or forgiven."

Magneto's experiences surviving the Holocaust shaped his outlook on the situation that mutants face in the world. When the government begins to limit the freedoms of mutants, he can't help but see the parallel to Jews in Nazi Germany. 

Magneto resents the systematic oppression of minorities. He is willing to use deadly force to protect his own kind. Despite his extreme measures, he is clearly not selfish. Every one of his plans are for the purpose of creating  a better world of his fellow mutants. He has seen what can happen when you yield  an inch to your oppressors, and will never open himself up to the possibility again. He is determined to keep such atrocities from ever being committed against mutants.

And this is just how powerful resentment can be, sometimes overshadowing positive motivators like money, health, or even happiness. While bitterness can drive a you forward, too much of it will consume you. Filling yourself with only rage, hate, cynicism will still make you empty.

A Hero's Journey

Let's talk about some fairy tales.

In traditional hero narrative, a young man leaves his home and ventures into the world where the fantastic and unknown await. Along the journey he gains knowledge, friends, and his worth as a man is tested. He returns home a more wise and mature individual, ready to take his place as heir to a throne or position of authority. Sometimes he confirms the end of his journey by bringing home and marrying a magical bride. He is ultimately triumphant, bringing home new-found knowledge and the respect of foreign allies. 

The Lion King is a pretty good example of this type of story:

-Simba runs away from home

-He arrives in an unfamiliar jungle, far removed from the hierarchy and rules of Pride Rock

-He meets two creatures he would have normally eaten, but instead adopts a diet of insects and bugs

-Despite living an idyllic life, Simba chooses to abandon his life of ease in order to confront his past

-Sima returns home to defeat his uncle

-Much wiser and more mature, Simba takes his rightful place as king

A young woman's journey, though no less heroic, is often not as glorious. They also leave home for an unknown world, but do not return as queens or war heroes. In fact, they often do not return at all.

Young women in fairy tales often start their journeys by leaving their familiar home with the knowledge that they will never return. Instead of having to slay a monster or find a mystic treasure, the female heroine finds herself trying to fit into a new or foreign community. Usually she finds work as a servant in a household. Eventually she catches the eye of a kind noble or prince, whom she marries. Like her male-counterpart, she brings to her new community gifts knowledge, maturity, and fertility. 

Beauty and the Beast is a fine example:

-Belle offers to take her father's place as prisoner in the Beast's castle

-She tries to escape but Beast rescues her after she is attacked by wolves

-Belle nurses Beast's wounds, and shows him a kindness he has never known

-The Beast begins to develop feelings for Belle

-Belle tells Beast that she loves him, freeing the entire castle from its curse

-Belle, having taught Beast compassion, helps Beast become human again and marries him. They live happily ever after

Historical context helps to explain why the journeys of our male and female heroes are so different. Folk stories and fairy tales often tell of the rite of passage from adolescence to adulthood, usually confirmed by marriage and the assumption of adult roles. Men were expected to inherit a family business or patriarchal position, while young women were sent off to be wives in foreign and faraway households. The journey of male and female heroes in stories parallel the lives of the society in which they are told. As we've all heard before, "art imitates life". 

So what do you think our modern vigilantes like Batman, unassuming orphans like Harry Potter, and strong females like Korra and Hermoine Granger say about our contemporary lives?

Have You Ever Noticed...

What do Harry Potter, Batman, Naruto, Spider Man, Aang, Snow White, and Luke Skywalker have in common?

They're all orphans.

The orphan hero is one of the oldest archetypes, appearing in stories of every kind. The archetype is not only a child who is orphaned by the death of their parents, but also ones who are lost, abandoned, kidnapped, held captive by evil step-parents, or reared by animals. It's not news that stories often have their heroes growing up in less than ideal circumstances. 

Myths and fiction like to give us children of high birth raised by adoptive parents. As they grow up, their exceptional qualities betray their humble upbringings. Hercules's strength far exceeds an ordinary man's, Naruto's healing factor and unexplained powers hinted at unseen forces, and Harry Potter's visits by owls and magical letters make it obvious he's not just some boy. These stories often begin with a traumatic birth and a miraculous survival. Nature feels the imbalance and restores these heroes to their rightful place. Rarely is a hero's origin truly low; at least one parent is divine, supernatural, or noble. Though, Hercules's story seems to be a special case. His birth and subsequent adversities were the result of the his divine father Zeus's affairs with women and his divine stepmother's scorn for her husband. So in this case, nature transgresses against itself. Greek myths be whack, yo.

Fairy tales and folk stories did not always concern kings or gods. Folk tales were passed on through storytellers and frequently concerned issues lived out by ordinary people. A common fairy tale is the child whose mother or father has just died. The death of a parent sets a story in motion, throwing young people out of their homes or bringing evil to their doorstep in the form of an evil stepmother, jealous siblings, or scheming uncles. The story of Baba Yaga has a set of twins sent away to a witch by an evil stepmother. At the end of their story, the witch is not vanquish nor are they given a more luxurious life. Their reward is simply a return to normal life. These characters weren't destined for greatness; they are exactly what they appear to be - children of cruel and indifferent parents. These parents exist, have always existed, and fairy tales often confronted these dark facts of life directly. The heroism of these orphans is their ability to survive and outwit the forces that mean to do them harm without dying or losing their humanity.

So why are orphans so popular? Do authors get some sort of sadistic satisfaction out of the suffering of the protagonist?

A traditional interpretation is that heroes without parents are "children of the world". They are free from any familial obligations that might lead to a boring story. Their experience with parental loss or lack of loving parents isolates them from common existence. They are outside normal life, and are able to observe the world from a completely different perspective. The absence of parents or a family also allows heroes to interact with the world on a larger scale and lead more exciting lives filled with both exceptional joy and suffering. This is why superheroes often have this type of background. 

Some orphan heroes only want a home and family. Snow White and Cinderella escape their evil stepmothers by marriage. However, comic book heroes are rarely given a traditional family. They develop strong bonds with friends, but are constantly proving their worth to the world. At the same time they are desperate to keep the people they care about safe. Spider Man continually worries about Aunt May and Mary Jane, especially after Uncle Ben's death. Naruto dreams of being Hokage, but is determined to save his criminal friend, Sasuke. 

Some heroes become so anchored to their role as saviour that they are unable to form a dependable family unit. The hero is unable to have a family or children because the world is in need of constant saving. Think of the fleeting romances between Superman and Lois Lane or the hot and cold relationship between Spider Man and Mary Jane. Some heroes like Harry Potter and Aang are able to shed their "children of the world" status and become deeply involved in their own families, but only after the danger has passed.

As children of the world, these characters end up serving their environments instead of a set of parents, and the most common way of pleasing the world is by saving it. Luke Skywalker is tasked with restoring balance to the force and the galaxy. Harry Potter is the only one who can free the world of the dark lord Voldemort. Aang must restore balance to the world as the Avatar. Naruto fights for friendship in a world fueled by hatred. Batman has dealt with the death of his parents, and is driven to create a world safer for other children. Each one of these characters shows us the different types of journey a hero might find themselves on.

Orphan heroes in fairy tales tend to differ from orphans in myth and fiction. Because they are grounded in real life, Fairy tales acknowledge that sometimes a hero never meets their parents, and that some homes are best never returned to. Life doesn't always give us a happy ending. That's why we try to find them in books.

Character Motivation and Layers of Conflict

Depending on who you ask, there are 3 or 4 main types of conflict. I'll go with 3:

-Personal
-Interpersonal
-Extra Personal

Certain forms of media excel at one of those conflicts.

Prose is really great for personal conflict

A character's contradictory desires, nature, and emotions. Prose - novels, essays, short stories, literature - is great with narrative. You can describe the emotion a character feels during any action they take. This allows you to give insight into a character even while they do something mundane. It doesn't work in film because no one wants to see a someone starting into the sky for 5 minutes. It's hard to communicate a character's complex thoughts through just their facial expression or movements.

Theatre is good with interpersonal conflict

Lovers, rivals, family, and personal relationships. Theatre is fantastic with dialogue. You'll notice that characters in plays spend most of their time talking to each other. This makes sense - talking is the way people express their thoughts to each other and work out their relationships. Now imagine if a novel described a character's emotion after every single line of dialogue. A simple conversation could take up an entire chapter. Characters in theatre reveal themselves through things like vocal tone or body language. You can tell how a character feels because you can hear it in their voice, or see it in their reactions.

Film's power comes from extra personal conflict:

A character against their physical or social world. This is why action sequences are the trademark of film. It's one thing to read and imagine a car chase, but another to actually see it play out before you. The way a shot is framed also communicates the intended mood of a scene. Close ups are intense. Quick cuts and shaky cameras give a feeling of agitation.  You're able to represent larger and more abstract ideas in film because of how much more (or little) you're able to show to the audience. The power of sound and image (especially CGI) allows film to represent something in a way prose and theatre can not. 


There's no way I could cover all three of these topics with the depth they deserve... So, with my ham-fisted writing ability, I'll just try and explore personal conflict with a story of my own:


Kevin has always loved cooking and tasting new foods. This passion has lead him to become a talented chef in a prestigious restaurant. The food business has always been competitive, and he has had to step over many co-workers and deal with incompetent bosses to get to where he is now. His co-workers respect him. He enjoys going into work, and gets along with everyone in the restaurant. Despite being young, everyone recognizes his talent. But after a scathing review by a well-known critic, management is in an uproar. The owners feel that it is time for a new head chef, and Kevin sees a chance to get what he deserves. 

Kevin and another chef named James are the top candidates. They both come in early and leave late. Every dish is expertly prepared and worthy of praise. They are charismatic and creative. But why can't they see that Kevin is just better? Why can't they see that Kevin deserves it more?  He's loved cooking his entire life. When other kids went outside to play, he stayed in the kitchen with his dad. Other teens joined clubs or played sports, but Kevin went home to try new recipes. Whenever his room mate went out clubbing with his friends, Kevin invited his own over for a home cooked meal. No one in the restaurant understands cooking like Kevin does. No one loves it as much is he does. The choice should be obvious. If management can't see this, then he will make them.

Kevin takes it upon himself to test James. He begins to misplace James's utensils. Turn a fire too high or too low every now and then. Leave an ingredient out to spoil by accident. Surely, if James were as good as everyone thought, he would notice these things. But he doesn't, and James's performance slowly begins to slip. Time and after time, James fails Kevin's tests. How could they promote a head chief who can't even remember where he put his knives? 

Here we can see the character's interpersonal of conflict - the complications that arise from his daily life. The conflicts for Kevin at the daily level are things like: competing with co-workers over a task; getting a boss to notice his skill; constantly being at the top of his game at work. We're also starting to see a bit of what drives Kevin to do what he does...

But Kevin is now afraid he has been too obvious. Someone must have noticed his actions. And they must want the position as well. Someone who doesn't deserve it - someone average. They could be out to get Kevin, trying to set him up for failure. His enemy is no longer just James, but the entire kitchen staff. So Kevin begins watching his own tools. His own fires. Never a moment in the day goes by where everything isn't exactly where it's supposed to be. 

The restaurant begins to notice Kevin becoming aloof. They ask him if he is okay, if something is bothering him. Just fine, he tells them. A lot on his mind lately. They walk away concerned, but he knows what their real intentions. They wont get him to slip up that easily. There is no way he will give up the lead he's built himself. 

The fateful morning comes and the crew is called into the kitchen. They stand around in a circle, and after the useless pomp, Kevin is named head chef.  No surprise, really. Only natural. They clap and cheer. They pat him on the back. "You deserve it", they tell him. As if he needed their confirmation. Everyone goes back to work while Kevin is shown his new office.

The restaurant is about to be brought to new heights under Kevin's leadership. He has plans. Ideas. New dishes are created. A higher level of service was expected. Those who did not share his enthusiasm were left behind. He did not to surround himself with those who could not see his talent. He begins to alienate himself from his colleagues. His lunches were now spent alone in the office. The only time he talked to his staff any more was when it concerned business. But Kevin knew that this was the price he'd pay for his success. The restaurant prospered. He could not complain  It was everything he had wanted. Finally, a new review by the same critic comes in:

"A return to form and a level of excellence we've come to expect. This restaurant once again finds its place among the gold standard."

"Standard? Expected?" The words pour over Kevin like heavy rain, but he doesn't know how to react. Kevin could not accept that his talent and effort were anything other than extraordinary. He would not. These critics obviously could not appreciate the subtlety of his flavors. How could they? They didn't understand food like he did. Nobody in the restaurant does. He was being held back...

Now we begin to delve into personal conflict. We get a glimpse into our character's desire, their deep fear, and eventually their fatal flaw. This is also the level at which we can see a character's motivation at a deeper level. All people are born with essential needs. The way a character goes about fulfilling those needs is what defines them and creates drama. The things revealed about the character here also gives insight on how or why they make their choices at the daily level. 

And so...

Kevin was driven by the need for praise, the fear of being average, and his pride. Not sure if my story communicated those things, but that was what I went for. 

I couldn't really come up with an ending for my story (sorry!). But I'm sure it would have been worse than whatever you could come up with.

Remember that every character has basic needs. How they go about fulfilling those needs is what creates the story. If they fail, it's a tragedy. If they succeed, you have yourself a happy ending. I wonder which one Kevin deserves?

Like Writing Nothing At All

I realized that blogs usually have a central topic: food, movies, games, hobbies... In fact people seem to just talk about themselves. But I don't like that... So what is my blog about? Well, if I keep on writing maybe I'll find out one day...

Did You Know...

I'm a total dweeb. The kind that likes games, cartoons, comics, and stories. 

I like playing League of Legends. I love reading the lore and trivia for each character. All 104 of them.

I like the Lord of The Rings movies. The idea of having a day to marathon the extended versions sounds fantastic.

Yep, I'm that kind of person. The ones who really get into the stuff they like. So I figured I'd share some of my useless (but interesting!) knowledge of some popular super heroes.

Superman Has More Than One Weakness

Superman is fast, invulnerable, flies, has super strength, x-ray vision, heat vision, superhuman hearing, super smell, super healing, longevity, genius level intellect... how are you even supposed to have a story when your protagonist is the most powerful living thing on earth? In the solar system? In the galaxy? 

You already knew the answer. Kryponite. But plots get old when a villain uses the same old gimmick. And it's fun to see our hero cut loose once in a while. So how can we possibly defeat Superman without taking away his powers?

No, Superman is immune to charms.

Use magic. That's right. Superman is weak to magic because it doesn't follow the laws of physics. Which makes sense because magic is extra-dimensional, and chaotic, and well... magical.

So maybe you saw magic coming. A bit obvious when you think about it. But how about this: Superman's powers come from yellow sun radiation. Which means he can run out of energy if he doesn't recharge for extended periods of time. It's not a weakness you see often, since he spends most of his time on Earth. But he does go off into space from time to time.

Oh, he's also weak to mind control. But then again who isn't.

Iron Man Has Issues

Imagine what being Iron Man is like. You're a billionaire, you get to fly around in a cool suit, you're a genius, you're popular and you don't even have to hide your identity. No one dares to attack you at home or hurt your friends because you're a billionaire who owns a weapons company. Everyone knows not to mess with Iron Man. Life is sweet. 

Except you're an alcoholic. You've been struggling with it for years. You've been living with immense guilt every since you almost killed an innocent bystander while piloting the Iron Man suit while drunk.

Also, your parents died in a car crash (like Batman!) while you were young and your father was such an influential figure that you can't help but live in his shadow. 

The Flash Is One Slippery Son of A Bitch

Yeah, the flash isn't that popular. His back story isn't mainstream and people don't even really know his secret identity... but they do know they he goes fast!

But not as fast as tickets sold out for the all time holiday blockbuster smash hit Jingle All The Way.

But all that moving around causes friction. Friction happens when surfaces slide against each other. The human body can't help but rub against itself while running (Go ahead and try, you'll look like a lizard). You know what else has multiple surfaces? Air molecules. They surround you and you're always colliding and rubbing against them. Though you can't feel it, you're constantly creating friction with the air. Friction produces heat. That's why your hands get warm when you rub them together. Produce enough heat and you basically get fire. 

So what's stopping The Flash from rubbing against everything and combusting into a ball of flame every time he uses his super speed? You probably guessed it: 

His body doesn't create friction while he's using his powers.

Friction is required to pick things up and keep things in place. Greasy things are more difficult to hold onto because of the lack of friction and resistance their surface offers. But no matter how little, these things still offer some bit of resistance. Now imagine something that offered nothing at all. 

Nothing at all.

Nothing at all.

Speaking of Combustion...

Many of you will recognize this guy.

It's Ken, from Street Fighter! What do I have to say about Ken? I'm going to give a scientific explanation for how he does his flaming dragon punch.

Before I start, let me apologize for oversimplifying and bastardizing the way combustion actually works. With that out of the way, let the blasphemy begin!

Remember what I said about friction, air molecules, and heat? All matter is held together by bonds - electrostatic forces of attraction between opposite charges.  In order to break a bond, you must put in at least the same amount of energy that is being used to hold that bond together. Think about a 50 lb ball sitting on the ground. To separate the ball from the ground, you must apply at least 50lb pounds of upward force. In a sense you're "breaking the bond" between the ball and the ground. Same basic idea.

One way of transferring energy is through collisions. A watermelon takes a certain amount of energy to move. You punch it with enough force, it will go flying. Same idea here, but with air molecules.

So here is what happens: Ken punches and his fist transfers its energy into the molecules in the air. Gaseous molecules move around really easily, so Ken would have to be punching impossibly fast and hard (no wonder it has such good priority). This transfer of energy causes the bonds of the air molecules to break, releasing energy in the form of heat. The friction also causes Ken's fist raise in temperature until it reaches the point where it can vaporize to form an ignitable mixture in air. 

The oxygen in the air now reactions with Ken's fist (which has become the fuel for combustion), and the heat to create fire.

And that's how you do a flaming dragon punch. All you have to do is punch really hard and really fast. Go try it out!

The Big Lebowski!

I finally watched The Big Lebowski the other day. I thought it was really funny, but not because of its jokes.

In fact, there weren't even many jokes in the movie. Hell, I don't even think that I laughed that much. But watching the way characters behaved in that movie was just so hilarious.

Let's start with The Dude:

Shorts that rest on the upper thighs. The relaxed grip on his drink. Those magnificent plastic sandals. My god, those beautiful sandals.

Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski is dishevelled, unemployed, and perhaps the laziest person on earth. But he is also empathetic, polite, and a genuinely nice guy. The story of the Big Lebowski begins with The Dude being mistaken for another guy named Jeff Lebowski - a millionaire. This other Lebowski's wife is in debt, and thugs have come to The Dude's house to collect. After shoving his head into a toilet and peeing on his rug, the thugs realize their mistake and run off. 

The Dude wants nothing more in life than to enjoy simple pleasures like taking a bath, bowling, and listening to music. But somehow all sorts of misfortune befalls him. He can't even catch a break at a funeral.

By the end of the movie you just feel terrible for him. He gets kidnapped, drugged, has his house robbed and his car stolen. All he wanted was a new rug. Which is never gets. 


And then we have The Jesus. 

I'm not really sure what to say about Jesus. Just look at him. The jumpsuit. The hair net. The polished pinky nail. That victory dance. The fact that he calls himself, "The Jesus". I remember being disappointed by how little screen time he got. But he left such a lasting impression on me.

Last but not least there's Donny. He doesn't have a big role, but in every one of his scenes he is told to "shut the fuck up". That's pretty much all anyone says to him. Then he just dies of a heart attack during a street fight. I couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculously sad that was. 

Did I mention that the movie also inspired a religion? That's right. The Dude's famously laid back character and attitude is the foundation for Dudeism. Now imagine if they based a religion off of The Passion of The Christ... oh wait.

Character Archetypes

Archetype versus Stereotype

Stereotypes take a general character and oversimplifies his or her qualities with predictable traits. For example:

An innocent boy who is destined to defeat an evil witch. 
A beautiful princess who prefers the clever commoner over the clumsy prince.
The banished prince who will one day reclaim his rightful place on the throne. 

Predictable characters make for predictable stories. There's no reason to get invested in a story when you already know the ending.

An archetype is a model from which a character is based. Let me introduce a few archetypes by telling a story...

Herald

A young child stumbles into a village on the edge of death. Everyone gathers around to see him. He collapses and with his dying breath says, "Run." 

This character is the herald. He upsets the balance of normal life and announces the conflict that begins the story. The herald doesn't always need to be a person. It can be a force or event: war, a wedding, being sent back in time, etc.

Hero

Everyone is worried by the message, so the worried people appoint the most clever person in the village, Sam, to go out and investigate what it all means.

Here we have the hero. The story of the hero is not about bravery, but of self-sacrifice. It is about what they learn and how they grow. The hero can be willing, reluctant, innocent, vengeful, foolish, or insane. They can be a loner, a warrior, a coward, or a drunkard. He can be weak, strong, unassertive, or stubborn. But the essence of the hero is the price they pay to obtain their goal.  A hero must grow. 

Gate Keeper

Sam sets out for his journey, but does not know where to begin. He decides to talk to Old Scruffy who lives alone at the edge of the village. Old Scruffy has traveled and seen the world beyond the tiny hamlet. When Sam arrives at Scruffy's hut, he is given the cold shoulder and told to leave. Scruffy has no time to deal with nonsense.

Old Scruffy is our gate keeper, the first obstacle in our hero's journey. He represents the things to come and shows that the journey will not be easy. The gate keeper is there to test the hero's worthiness and is the threshold that the hero must be overcome in order to enter the new world.

Mentor

Sam is persistent and eventually Old Scruffy, who is impressed by Sam's wit, grants him an audience. Scruffy takes Sam under his wing, sharing wisdom from his travels and training him for what lies beyond the village.

Our gate keeper has now become the mentor. The mentor prepares our hero for the challenges ahead through training, equipment, or information. Sometimes they give the hero a gift, usually requiring the hero to pass a test before it is given. The gift can  a magic item, a vital clue, medicine, or an insignificant object that only becomes important later in the journey.

Shadow

Sam has learned all he can from Scruffy and now it's time for the final test: a deadly duel. Scruffy comes at Sam with lethal intent, giving him a taste of the kind of hostility he will have to face in the world outside. Failure for Sam can mean a major setback or even death.

Our mentor has become  the shadow - a worthy opponent with whom the hero must struggle. The shadow is often an antagonist, but an antagonist is not always a villain. Sometimes an antagonist is a good guy who disagrees with the hero. The shadow is in direct conflict with the hero. The two must fight until the other is incapacitated. 

Ally

Sam sets out on his journey after passing his test. On the road he meets Cliff, a member from the neighboring village. Cliff is looking for his younger sister, who has recently gone missing. He also meets Jack, a noble who is traveling the country in order to learn about the suffering of commoners. The three decide to travel together.

Our hero has gained allies - characters with a shared goal or purpose. An ally's journey can also starts with the arrival of a herald. In that sense, an ally is also the hero of his or her own story.  

Trickster

Cliff often gets our group of travellers in trouble through mischief or carelessness. Though he often complains and acts cowardly, Cliff is always there when the chips are down.

Cliff is our trickster. He keeps the story in proportion by providing comedic relief and offsets any heavy drama. No matter what role the trickster takes, they often represent the use of cunning in the face of an overwhelming force. 

Shape Shifter

Jack is always down for the fight, but is often aloof. He claims that he is traveling on a whim, and usually does not talk about himself or share his thoughts. When asked, he is ambiguous about his own goals. Sometimes it is hard to believe the sincerity of his words.

Jack is the shape shifter. The loyalty of the shape shifter is uncertain, and constantly keeps the hero off guard. The shape shifter ultimately has their own agenda and stands to profit.

And...

With that I will have to let you imagine the rest of the story. 

A stereotyped character is created when the author says their character that their character is only one thing. Archetypes say that a character is all of these things. Let's try applying this to a popular character: BATMAN!

The death of Bruce Wayne's parents has a lasting effect on his life, leading him to create the crime fighting persona, Batman. This traumatic event is the Herald.

Batman takes Robin under his wing, taking care and training him. Batman becomes a Mentor.

Despite fighting crime, Batman often breaks the law. He is not held accountable for questionable deeds. Sometimes Batman will do something villainous because he believes it is for the greater good. He is a Shadow.

The persona of billionaire Bruce  Wayne is that of a playboy. His personality is opposite of Batman: cheerful, social, materialistic. Billionaire Bruce Wayne never reveals his true intentions or opinions. Shape Shifter.

That's all I can think of for now. 

I'm a bit of a geek when it comes to stories and storytelling... Hope you found all this at least as half as interesting as I did. Maybe even learned something!